Not a good sign!

I feel withdrawn from all the things that I used to enjoy. Things that were amusing and exciting no longer seem to be the same. An abysmal emptiness seems to invade my heart. I no longer feel like the happy-go-lucky guy that I used to be once. People have started complaining that I seem to be preoccupied with something most of the times. I could feel this myself. My thinking and my deeds are not synchronous. My thoughts are wandering in an unknown territory and a pang of shock hits me when they bounce back in to reality. I guess there is a conflict of interests between my ego and my super-ego. I want to be something and I’m being something. Whenever this reality hits me, my mind goes berserk. I have always got what I wanted. I have exactly known what was required and have always worked towards that but now I know what I want and I still don’t do anything about it. My super-ego tries to insinuate this to my ego, which apparently is not interested in this. The result – I suffer.

Ironically, this happens to be my 100^th post !