Whenever I get to speak informally with an American, the first question he/she asks me is about marriages in India. "Hey Naveen, I've heard that ya guys in India marry a girl/boy whom your parents decide. How does it work? Here even the marriages that happen after careful choosing of our partners are in jeopardy after a copla years! Whats the secret of your sustaining the marriage life for 30 - 40 years? "
I simply tell them, "We believe that it would work and the belief really makes it work" !
Are there any specific things that make our arranged marriages work? Any thoughts?
6 Comments:
Good post! The answer to your question is...errr...I dunno *scratching head* :(
Like one of my friends says - it is the willignes to 'give' that makes our marriages tick.
I think its because marriages are considered sacred in india..u may fall in love many times but people seem to marry only once:)..and indians seem to know how to adjust with all kinds of people
Statistics say that no matter what the kind of marriage (arrange or love), the divorce rate is the same! I, personally, don't believe in arranged marriages. But then my parents have been married for close to 29 years. Not to say that they are perfect, but they are still together even though they threaten to divorce each other during every fight!!
No prediction can be made about the success rate of any kind of marriage.
Its simple....,Indians give up easily..we give up without even putting up a proper fight...its there in everything Indian-Cricket,movies,history...politics war..no other race was under foreign subjugation for more than a 1000 years...
same applies in this case also...both men and women resign to their fates and sacrifice their personal wishes and dreams for the honour of their family and spouse....sacrife...another word synonymous with Indians..
But the new generation is more dynamic and bold...maybe weill see more choice marriages now..
FLIPSIDE: and maybe more divoorces too...!
;)
cheers
hopefully everything changes for the better..
I dont know why it works in India or how it works. When I look at my parents I would definitely wanna have what they share. But looking at the current marriage scene I think even arranged marriages are slowly turning into disasters. I guess it depends upon the person, if you wanna make it work it will work no matter what.
@Rita - True, the willingness to give (sacrifice) is making marriages tick. But there should be mutual sacrifices..right?
@Shikha - If Indians can adjust with all kinds of people, why are there too many communal riots? I know you meant "adjust with any kind of a partner", I'm just teasing :)
@AFJ - Very true, no one can predict about marriages be it arranged or love.
@Kannan - I agree that Indians resign to their fates and start sacrificing their personal interests for the sake of their partners. But don't you think this is one of the values of our culture and the new generation should not overthrow it all together?
@My Ramblings - Yeah, only the people bound in marriages are responsible to keep the relationship intact!
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